How I live now

Ok, it's been six days since my surgery and you can tell because six of my lillies are open, and have been opening with extreme orderliness at the rate of one a day.  Like some sort of flowery day-clock.

Every morning I wake up feeling orders of magnitude better than I did the evening before, but because I spend the day feeling slowly shittier my overall gains aren't as astronomical as one would like.  I have gone off the T3s which made the water stop tasting like ass, but also dragged me back into the depths of exhaustion because hey, T3s also have caffeine in them.  Who knew.

Joel has gotten much chattier in the past week because if we're watching, say, The Deadliest Warrior (which is all kinds of horrible but also incredibly watchable), he's the only one able to keep up a running commentary on how dumb this is.  I have to weigh everything I want to say in terms of how funny it's going to be, how much energy it's going to take to holler, and whether it'll be worth it in the end.  The answer is usually 'no.'

I feel like I'm shouting all the time, but at best I'm making myself barely heard in a quiet room.  Mostly I'm running at just above a whisper.  This is maddening.  I like to make casual conversation with the salesgirl in the Urban Planet, I like to give directions to the young couple on the bus, I like to be the one poking fun at Deadliest Warrior's scienticians.  It's supposed to get better, but I'm not good at the wait.

I bought a profusion of scarves just before my surgery.  It's not so much that I'm self-conscious about the incision, it's that it's uggers.  It has gotten gorier-looking since you saw it last, but I will spare you a photo, just as I spare the walking world by wearing scarves.  ANYway, I have this one cream-and-gold scarf that I refer to as my Flight of the Navigator and that I unashamedly ADORE.  Today I went to go look at coats because I need reasons to get up and walk around, and every coat I tried on I'd be all, Oh, my scarf is so pretty.  This is such a pretty scarf.  This coat looks so nice with my scarf.

I narrowly escaped, only having bought the one coat, and then I had to come home and skype my sister just to make sure that the coat was actually adorable (it is).