'I have been working steadfastly for many hours, and could use a break. I believe I will send an e-card to my significant other, because I recognize that frequent contact is how she receives love. In this way, I will productively kill five minutes of time.'
I remember being in college (like, a year ago, already), and thinking to myself:
'I have written a slip-shod introductory paragraph to this paper, which will later require some harsh, quasi-thorough 3 am editing. It is time for three consecutive games of Spider Solitaire.'
This is Joel as a mad scientist (read: during midterms)