Friday, October 10, 2008

Things that make me feel old:

As I reach my twenty-six-and-a-halfth year, there are a handful of things around that are making me feel geriatric.

The cold. When did winters get to be so damned cold?

Teenagers. Especially ones in college. That were born in the nineties.

The fact that people who were born in the nineties are now in college.

My ankle. Remember how, when you were young, you'd hurt yourself and then a few days later, you'd be all, Oh! That scab has fallen off/bruise has gone away/bone has healed. Rad. So, last weekend (two full weeks after I rolled my ankle in the first place), I looked down and was all, Huh. Ankle is still fat. So I've been icing and elevating the hell out of it, and taking ibuprofen like candy (my stomach lining feels like crepe paper), and now you can sort of see the bump where my ankle-bone is. And I can almost sit cross-legged.

On the other hand, at least I'm younger than:

- Barbie,

- the Air Force,

- minute-rice,

- Pop-Tarts,

- Medicare,

- the CIA,

- the Pentagon,

- the Slinky,

- Sweet-n-Low,

- breast implants,

- the UN,

- Velcro,

- Alaska, and

- Spaghetti-O's.

And not everyone can say that.


Anonymous said...

Don't you think it's kind of dangerous to write about the CIA, the Pentagon and Breast Implants in the same sentence? You know, like in case the Internet is, like, monitored, and now you've hooked together two of three words that could implicate you, and now you'll get a dossier?
Don't you?
And now, because I pointed it out to you, I'll get one too because if a crime were committed, I'd obviously, of the two of us, be the more likely to have masterminded it?
We're doomed.
We're going to American jail.

Anonymous said...

That was me.

Haaaapppppyyyy Thanksgiving.