Thursday, March 04, 2010

Hope on the horizon (in a box in the pantry)

Ok so tonight I was eating some frozen blueberries and they were tasting like crunchy balls of lard because I can't taste anything sweet (or salty, or spicy, but I can feel spicy so I put tobasco sauce on everything now) and I was ensaddened because this is crappy, you guys.  I ate bland, nasty food for a month and then I had three glorious days of waffles and pizza and cookies and now I'm back to the bland and it's better because I'm not so damned hungry all the time, but it's worse because at least then things tasted like things.

So I'm on the google tonight all, Dear google, please tell me this will go away. And most of the google is like, It'll take a few months to a year, but you'll be fine, but then that sneaky nasty part of the google that is always telling us that our symptoms are fatal is like, This could be permanent so get used to sucking at food.

I didn't mean to be so bleak, bloggonets, because the upshot of this story is actually kind of awesome. So one helpful googlebit was all, If you gargle with baking soda it will speed up the healing process! And I was all, Yerk, that will be gross but I am desperate so I will try. And guys, it was so not gross because (you may recall) I CAN'T TASTE ANYTHING!!!
So that was kind of fun. I feel like this is my new superpower, like I could drink a bottle of sriricha sauce and suffer no harm. I am going to gargle with baking soda until it starts being nasty, because when baking soda tastes nasty then food tastes like food.


Jonathan said...

I wish you luck on your quest of tasting nasty baking soda water...for you I hope it works soon!


Teale said...

I'm a lurker, delurking to give my sympathies! Last year I got a temporary condition called Bell's Palsy. Not sure if you're familiar or not, but basically it's temporary paralysis of one side of your face. Stoke-like symptom, right? Pretty scary for a 25 year old... but anyway, so the paralysis... it was pretty funny to see one side of my face totally emotionless while the other side smiles, but the not so hilarious parts included not being able to close the paralyzed eye (and having to tape it shut to sleep!) and loss of taste! I feel your pain with the tasteless food stuff, I really do... because I made my favorite meal while all palsied and it tasted like NOTHING. It was so diasppointing. The only thing I could remotely taste was mint-flavored stuff, so I loaded up on the mint chip ice cream, peppermint gum, etc. I was w/o taste for about a month, but it came back, as I really hope yours does!!!

Cori said...

I had an issue that caused me to have to gargle with baking soda water and it was FREAKIN GROSS. More than just regular gross. But I hope it's gross for you soon so you can get back to enjoying your food.