Hey kids, what's new. I suppose you'd like to know how this whole iodine-less business is going, and the answer is both 'shitty' and 'fine.' 'Shitty' because sometimes I just want a quick snack, and I don't want it to be carrot sticks or kiwis eaten furiously over the sink because I'm so hungry. 'Shitty' because none of my food really tastes like food. My chili tastes like a bunch of beans and tomatoes, because I realized at the last minute that chili powder has salt in it, and that all the things you think are in chili powder don't seem to add up to a chili-flavor. 'Shitty' because I'm so sick of bagels I could die.
But then 'fine' because I made the bagels that I was so sick of and which were rapidly going stale into bagel chips, so I have a quick, carb-loaded snack until those run out. 'Fine' because I can still have popcorn if I air-pop it, and if I add olive oil and kosher salt it is the only thing I can eat that tastes like food. 'Fine' because if I can't put dried fruit in my oatmeal, oatmeal + honey is actually pretty damned good. And then fine because of these:
Deathless muffins! I am a triumphstress of substitutions.
Not actual butter.
Eggs with all the delicious, iodiney parts removed.
Subbing oil + applesauce for butter and egg whites for eggs is actually standard health-nutty practice, so I like to think of this as embracing Victoria. When in Rome, etc. (...go on...)
And then various flours with hella bran, because what I totally need in this oatmeal-popcorn-veggie-eating phase of my life is more fiber?
Whatever. This genuinely looks tasty.
Final verdict: These suckas is dense, but in a delicious sort of way. I have a pretty heavy hand with the add-ins, so they're riddled with cranberries and pecans (the walnut's less-healthy but infinitely-superior cousin. To quote my secret internet girlfriend Lauren, walnuts have been wasting my time). One of them isn't going to fill me up, but two of them might do just fine. I should be sick to death of them in about six days, at which point it'll be time to make...I don't know...iodine-free pitas, or something.