some wacko is giving out my phone number as his. i had four wrong numbers call today. the last was one of those awkward calls that go thusly:
'hello?' i answer my phone.
'good evening,' says the companiable but unfamiliar voice on the other end.
'hello,' i say, a little more stiffly.
'this is lars. how are you?' he continues, sounding amused, and a little chastising because i didn't know him at the outset.
'i'm sorry, you have the wrong number,' i say, genial and polite now that i know i'm not going to have to make polite conversation with someone i didn't feel like talking to.
'this is lars,' he repeats, as if to say, 'you've made a mistake, baby. it's me.'
i was sorely tempted to reply 'oh, lars! i thought you said it was alphonso' and then see how long i could string on the conversation for, but i'm trying not to do things the five-year-old equivalents of which i would give my kids time-outs for.