Monday, July 23, 2007

For your time-killing pleasure

Hey there folks. Anyone want to hear about how I spent the day writing another paper? No? That's ok. I have some other fun treats for you to liven up this rainy day.

Let's start it off with some top ten lists. Not, like, the top ten things you would do before you died, or the top ten reasons pugs are funny. Hows about the top ten cheesiest soundtrack singles of all time? Hilarious, non? Or how about this, the top ten greatest advancements in fast food? I'm not even joking. Or the top ten most fascinating urinals? My favorite is the one in Stockholm. I bet it feels like you're watering those plants.

Had enough? Let's talk about the English for a while. English people are hilarious. Did I ever tell you about my friends, Hannah and Martin, that I met in Thailand? They were English, and, being such, hilarious. They taught me many interesting facts, such as how the Queen owns all the swans, how 'pants' are those little things you wear under your 'trousers,' and how all red-haired, freckled people (aka 'gingers') ought to be mercilessly teased and ostracized. I didn't believe that last bit, because that's a whole new brand of crazy, but I have since then uncovered incontrovertable cyber-proof. Here, evidence of a ginger-safe house, evidentally necessary to protect them from this kind of scorn. Aren't the English stark raving mad?

Ok, tired of my top-ten lists and Anglo-bashing, but still have some time to kill? Upload a picture of yourself here, and give it a moustache! You can trim said moustache, wax it, toss some tonic on it to make it grow, give it a little shave-y mc-shave. Splendid. And, apparently, here, you can upload a picture of yourself and they'll Simpsonize it for you. My picture's been 'uploading' for ten minutes, and so far no dice. False promises crush my spirit.

In a last bid to make you feel better about yourselves before you go on about your day, go here and check out some celebrities reverse-air-brushed. That's right, they're made to look MORE normal! More like you and me! Less like skeletons with great hair. I feel more attractive already.


No comments: