Thursday, May 29, 2014

Comfortable with discomfort.

I'm the kind of person who likes to circle the wagons and close ranks and other exclusionary metaphors when under duress. Joel mentioned that one of his colleagues wanted to drop by to see the baby, and I was like, HA HA NO, I don't want to see anyone I'm not related to by blood or marriage, unless it's Josie. I certainly don't want to see anyone who's never had someone else's poop on their pants for two days and not cared at all.

That said, summer in Saskatoon is my favorite Season in a City EVER, and we have lived in a lot of cities. The winter has been so long, and I've waited so eagerly for fine weather, and it's HERE NOW. When my parents were here a week ago, we were like, I think that one tree down the street is starting to put out leaves? And now, boom.

Summer. And I don't want to miss a second of it. I didn't leave the house for weeks after Eleanor was born, except to go to the doctor and to buy larger bras. But we have been to the library and the park and the farmer's market, and the Children's Festival is this weekend, kicking off Festival Season.

I had a tiny bit of Baby-Maker's Remorse the other day when I realized that I'd thrown a wrench in my favorite season, that this summer wasn't going to be as breezy and hands-free as last summer. Babies are just ON YOUR BODY all the time, and always needing to be fed at unpredictable and inconvenient moments, and you can't just give them a cracker or a toy because they're babies.

Toddlers are very comfortable people to hang around with. Eleanor has never really been given to public meltdowns, and she's enthusiastic about everything. I'm realizing that I'm going to have to be mildly uncomfortable all summer if I want to have All The Fun, because there's always going to be a baby in my arms or in the stroller, sleeping but on the verge of waking up and SQUALLING. But I don't want to not stop to pick the dandelions because I'm anxious or tired or itching to get back to my nice, safe, homely house.

It would be such a waste of a summer.


Amanda said...

My Eleanor was born on July 2 and I TOTALLY wasted that summer. I was enormous and cranky for the first part of it, and confused and overwhelmed and weepy for the second part, and since I am like you with closing of the ranks we were very very isolated for those few months. If we ever do have another one I'm going to try not to do that.

Also, Geneva is so very beautiful!

Anna {} said...

It's somehow different getting out with the second, and so much more necessary...but I also look forward to my youngest being a fun, inquisitive toddler easily pacified by a wrapped snack because until then, home will just be so very inviting. One day :) Summer there looks beautiful!

Rebekah Joy Plett said...

Wish I was there. Then we could have hot, sweaty babies in the sunshine together.