Saturday, January 31, 2009

My paper will write itself while I dither on over here

Those of you lucky enough to be my Facebook BFFs (or FBFFs) may remember that time boo took that awesome, mascara-ridden, seen-my-own-death picture of me and I had it as my profile picture for ages.

And then someone took a terribly un-flattering picture of boo, and she photoshopped the two together to make this piece of deliciousness:

Womb-twins! Anyway, sometimes boo and I will put up the same profile picture so that when we facebook-chat, it looks like one of us is DOMINATING the conversation while the other one is conspicuously silent. I know, hilarious. ANYway, me and boo and Robyn were all facebook-chatting, and we were all, Wouldn't it be funny if we all THREE of us had the same profile picture? Let's find a picture with all of us in it. Isn't any? Let's (by 's I mean boo) photoshop Robyn into a picture of me and boo.


My small bird has become a small blue fish. The wonders of technology.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

In Which My School Is Ubiquitous, and I Have a Potentially Inappropriate Opinion

Peoples! My school is all OVER the intarwebs these days! By which I mean, in two places.

Firstly, go here to check out our infestation of buns. Seriously, these snuggly wumpkins are everywhere! The day I walk out of class, see a galloping bun and don't think *ahhhhhn* I want to be taken out back and shot.

And then go here to see the unnecessary quotes that I walk by on my way to the changeroom where No One is Ever Naked.

Can we talk about this? Have I been back long enough, or is my second post-haitus-post too soon to be discussing nudity? Because NO ONE IS EVER NAKED IN VICTORIA! And I know, this is not a big deal. But it took me a long time to feel comfortable walking around a changeroom in just my skin, and I'll be damned if this school full of prudes takes that away from me.

So, back when I was going to UBC and swimming all the time in the pool with all the seniors, the changeroom would be full of nakedness both because a.) it's way easier to just shower and then waltz over to your locker without having to swaddle all the time, and b.) seniors, who are the secret nudists. It was weeks before I was comfortable joining in the nude-party, and weeks more before I was ok with having naked-conversations with my favorite old Chinese lady, who always came in just as I was pulling clothes from my locker. (Side note: one time I was late, and I came in just after she came in, and I was all, Hi! And she was all, Oh! I didn't recognise you with clothes on [!]. Also, she referred to my swimsuit as my 'bathing costume.' I wanted to take her home.)

So now I'm at UVic, and its as though we're in high school again. Everyone comes back from the shower carrying their gym clothes, and wrapped in a towel under which they will dress. Which, fine. If they want to do all that extra work, it's no skin off my nose. BUT I'M STARTING TO FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS!

This isn't actually going anywhere. I've sort of just been storing this up in my mind for the past few weeks, and I needed someone to tell me that yes, this is weird. Maybe it's the lack of seniors, or the overall youth of UVic students. Maybe it has to do with the infestation of buns. I don't know.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Other blog! Hello, you. I know, once my computer went down I never even fake-updated you from Joel's laptop, and even after I got a new(ish) one, I've sort of been ignoring you. But I have a paper to write, and as per usual, I've come to you to kill some time.

SO! What has happened since we last chatted? The dishwasher repairman came, and I almost offered him my first-born. Our dishwasher here is the He-man of dishwashers. I don't pre-rinse nothing.

Um...Joel had his birthday, and I bought him a George Forman Grill (among other things) and now I can't stop grilling sandwiches. Seriously, EVERYTHING tastes better grilled. Also, it squanches the bread down if you have tall bread, and makes the whole thing easier to eat. Also, it melts your cheese. The other day I made grilled garlic toasts, and they were nommable.

School is going well. I have one prof for 2 classes, and I find out after this that he's a bit of an arbitrary marker, so I submitted my first assignment with fear and trepidation because I knew that whatever mark I got on that would be the final grade I'd be getting in both classes. One assignment from each class and two identical marks later, I'm feeling ok about things.

I am writing a paper.

Did I mention that our car broke down? So, the car broke down and then Joel replaced some things and then it ran like the wind, and then we had to go to this conference in Calgary and we offered this other girl a ride to the airport, and about eight seconds before we were supposed to leave, the car broke down again. So Joel ran all over the map buying new parts and replacing them, and Asia and I looked up bus routes only to find that we'd already missed the last bus to the airport (we will talk about the Victoria transit system later, but for now know that I am unimpressed), and so we had to Phone a Friend and beg for a ride there. We got back from Calgary a few days later at around 7 pm, only to discover that the last bus from the airport to the Park 'n' Ride (where another bus would take us to another bus, which would take us home) had already left. WTF? Planes come in later than 7 all the time. H'anyvays, we were going to walk the half hour or so to the Park 'n' Ride, but some guy saw us trucking along the highway with all of our bags in tow, and picked us up, and THEN drove us all the way home. To our house. Zoot!

UVic is overrun with bunnies. Seriously, this will never get old. I come out of class...bunnies! I come out of the library...bunnies! I walk to the bus stop...bunnies! They are so tame, you could pet one (or punt one, as your preferences lie).

UVic has 4 microwaves on the entire campus, and they are all in one place. Which means that if I'm at Point A and want to microwave my soup before my class at Point B, I have to go to Point X. UVic kind of makes no sense.

UVic is a microcosm of Victoria, which also makes no sense. The roads change names every three blocks, and change direction every five. The roadmaps look less like spiderwebs and more like piles of silly string. unimpressed.

The weather continues to be impressive. It has rained two days out of the twenty-seven that we have lived here, and then this morning it snowed for an hour and has been sunny ever since. I anticipate spring coming in eight seconds or so.

September, this was for you.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Enviro-friendly fail

For the first time EVER in our four days here, Victoria has let us down. Joel and I drove to the nearest Superstore to do our re-stock-the-house Big Shop (meat, condiments, razor blade re-fills, all the expensive stuff), and forgot to bring our selection of re-usable bags, which we definitely have because we're, like, totally all about the environment and stuff. You know who else is totally all about the environment? The city of Victoria!! So much so that their Superstore doesn't even OFFER plastic bags. Which we found out after we'd dragged our overflowing cart and two handbaskets full of carefully-chosen foodstuffs to the counter.

And ok, I understand. If you don't have plastic bags, people have to bring their own bags, and the Earth will be so happy with you that it will let you get to second base. I get it! But it was SO MUCH WORK loading every single item back into our cart, and then into our trunk, and then out of the trunk into a pile on the kitchen floor.

The upshot of all this is that we will never.make.this mistake.again.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

I may never leave

HA! It's blizzarding where you are, innit? Wish you were here, don't you? In the Land of Eternal Summer? At Mile 0, where it's never snowing and always Christmas?

Where wild bunns snorfle your hands?

Where the manager of the Boston Pizza gives you free toques, just 'cause?

Friends, you should all come visit. We will barbecue on our deck. It's warm(ish) out.

Friday, January 02, 2009

More adventures! Or, We move to Victoria!

12:49 a.m., January 1, 2009 - Leave New Year's party to find 3 inches of fresh snow on car. Scoff, assuming that it will blow away in the night and that we'll be left to move to Victoria in peace.

7:02 - awake to find 3 MORE inches of fresh snow. Gnash teeth.

7:37 - get stuck getting out of driveway. Am an excellent car-pusher.

8:22 - are told by friendly talk radio several times not to be on roads unless strictly necessary. Are told that driving conditions are slippery and frozen east of the bridge, and slippery and frozen west of the bridge. Are on roads, must cross bridge.

9:45 - are still on roads. Longest Chilliwack-to-Vancouver jaunt in history.

10:02 - are throwing last-minute, uncategorizable items into last-minute boxes. Will end up with approximately six 'last-minute' boxes.

10:58 - run out of paper towels. Lone rag used to clean remaining quarter of house. Results largely satisfactory.

11:34 - truck is packed. House is cleaned. Keys are dropped into mail slot.

12:05 - make ferry in good time. Eyeball mounds of gelato, eat food brought from home.

12:45 - boarding begins for 1:00 ferry.

12:46 - hybrid in front of us fails to start due to dead battery.

12:48 - feel severe Good Samaritan guilt, offer to help dead hybrid.

12:54 - hybrid starts.

12:58 - are one of last cars onto ferry.

2:03 - arrive in Schwartz Bay.

2:28 - arrive in Victoria, land of Eternal Summer. Distinct lack of snow on ground.

2:31 - unexplicable box spring takes up half of living room. Moving in commences around box spring.

5:09 - last box is brought in.

5:10 - order pizza from dangerously-close Dominos.

5:37 - unpacking commences.

8:48 - trot over to Starbucks for a pick-me-up.

10:18 - as much unpacking as can be done (due to unfinished nature of house) is done.

10:21 - watch Aladdin.

10:54 - pick-me-up fails, Aladdin fails. Fall into freshly-made bed.