New compy uters!

Things had reached critical mass, computer-wise, here at the old Krueger house. This is my laptop...

Her name is Ahsley Spoonb II, and I've had her for years and love her dearly. That being said, she is beginning to resent the burden of two masters. Joel has a zillion computer assignments, due in no small part to his ghey computers class, and a med school application, and a batch of articles online that always need to be read. I have a zillion papers to write, my Facebook to check, and this blog to maintain, which I do three-quarters assedly. And SO, since we both always have to be on the computer, and since we have only the one, one of us always has to go to school (Joel) while the other one sits at home with the laptop and the cupboards full of snacks (me), and we never get to see each other and I get fat. And did I mention I've had her for years? That's years of Word documents, of pictures, of music files, and lately, of videos, cluttering up her teeny, lap-sized brain. So Ahsley's been, how you say, le sluggish of late.

On TOP of that, she's developed this problem with her fan, so when the fan kicks in (which it does every five minutes or so), it makes this whirring, grinding, buzzing sound. Last night in class, this lady turns to me and says 'Can you turn the volume on that thing down!?!' to which I says, 'I'm sorry, it's the fan, it just started doing that and I haven't had time to get it looked at, it's dirty or busted or something' to which she says 'Well, it's really irritating' to which I says 'Well I can't do anything about it right now,' and then every time Ahsley kicks into buzzy fan gear, I silently cheer her on. But then this morning, in a class full of people I like, she was doing it all over again, and louder and oftener, and I'd apologized to the people on either side of me before class so that by the middle of the class, we're all kind of laughing every time it happens, and then my professor stops and says 'Is my fly open? Is there food on my face? Why is the back row laughing?' and I had to explain that we were laughing at Ahsley's death rattle.

H'anyways, all that to say that my dad built himself a new computer, and was so kind as to donate this...

to the cause of 'Let Joel and Rachel Spend More Time in the Same Room.' This will do nothing for Ahsley Spoonb II's tuberculosis, but will hopefully take some of the stress off and let her breathe, which may, in turn, keep both our heads from exploding.*

*By which I mean Ahsley and me...Joel has as little to do with the inner workings of the computers as possible, which just proves that he is smarter than I am.