Friday, April 25, 2008
Ok, maybe kind of both.
Also speaking of lards, rather round-a-boutedly speaking, Facebook has been running this ad for some diet or other, along with this picture:
Does this woman's abdomen not look vaguely androidal to you? Sort of yellowish and plastic? Come on, now. If I'm going to be shamed about my body, I want it to be by another REAL (albeit photoshopped) body. At least grant me that.
Ok, that's it. Maintain radio silence until I do something else interesting.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Google search terms that have led here:
- cursing symbols (it's called 'the finger')
- difficult to undo pee (I suppose it is)
- balance my karma (that is not one of the services I perform here at The Buoyancy)
- city of abbotsford bylaw chickens (I am an expert on these)
- handless maiden and incest (durrrrrrrrrrr, what?)
- what's in my lunchbox (citruses?)
So now you know! If you ever forget how to get here, you can just Google in 'handless maiden incest,' and I will be on the bottom of the second page. I checked.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
These are just as disgustingly good as I wanted them to be. They taste like those little cheese-and-cracker snack paks you can get at Superstore, 5 for 78 cents, or whatever. Except without that little red stick that always breaks, and without all that bothersome spreading.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
So today, I went to give blood, because it's IN YOU TO GIVE, people. And every time, I think, 'Should I tell them that I have the lowest blood pressure in the world, and also that I'm a fainter?' But then what if they don't let me give blood? Also, you think someone would have written on my chart by now 'Lowest blood pressure in the world. Also, fainter.' But apparently no one has.
So they do the whole prickety-prick thing with the finger to test for anemia, and I have loads of iron, and this time I make it all the way over to the little cubicle where you fill out all those awkward questions about who you've had sex with in the last 3 months/6 months/30 years, and then I have to look around and catch a nurse's eye and wave her over because whoops! There goes the world.
So they laid me down and gave me juice, and the worse thing about coming out of a faint is that they wont let you sleep, and you're confused and pissed because they keep telling you to keep your eyes open, but your eyelids are so heavy.
So, damn. I still have all my blood. But hey, it's sunny out today!
Friday, April 11, 2008
And now this woman is blogging through her labor! I mean, ok, you're on your 12th child and it's probably not that big a deal anymore. But YES IT IS!!
The world is a crazy place.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
I AM TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD! I should know how to feed myself.
In other news, in one week I will be done all my finals, and in two weeks I will be twenty-six. And probably still not able to gauge how hungry I am and how much food I should eat to keep myself from dying, but that's beside the point. The POINT is that as soon as finals are done, I'm going to polish off that bottle of wine that I'm currently abstaining from in order to retain my few brain cells, and I'm going to read the stacks of fantasy novels my aunt bought me. I know. But I want to spend my last week in my mid-twenties (26 is late-mid-twenties) half-drunk and immersed in wraiths. Or something.
In complete other news, have you ever seen the music video for the Dave Matthews song 'Everday'? Clickety-click, friends. This video makes me happier than just about anything I've seen in a while.
What? What do you want? You want to read the paper I wrote today? You want to read my awful philosophy final project? Trust, you don't. Be glad that I'm rambling about nothing and making you watch awesome videos, and not forcing you to read that pile. You OWE me for this one.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
And maybe it's because the only exercise I get these days is my furtive typing, and all the hilariously intense games of Dynomite I play when I just can't take it anymore, and so my body has decided to fight its own battle by refusing to take in any more calories (read: digest any food) because I eat half a box of Ritz Crisps, or whatever, and I'm nauseous. Serious, I feel like I could last for DAYS on a single bowl of cereal, which would be awesome if A. I lived in a third-world country, or B. I was too busy to eat, or C. my house wasn't full of study-friendly snacks in anticipation of impending finals, or D. I hated eating.
None of these things is true.
All I want to do is snack myself into oblivion, and then make nachos, but I can hardly manage half a bagel. WebMD was no help - there was no 'is never hungry and is in fact often over-full' on the symptom checker.
Maybe I should get up of my damn chair and go for a brisk walk.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
In other baby-related news, Jared fell asleep in my lap today. My ovaries sighed in unison.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
- I think that question has scientific merit.
- Because I'm not bosomy at all, and I'm always getting food down in my shirt.
-...I think that has less to do with breast size, and more to do with eating habits.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Bless you and your zany brain, Dave Matthews. Bless you.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Erm...today I was talking to Joel on the phone, and if the other person hangs up and I keep talking (it happens), the phone just echos what I said back to me. So Joel and I are all, 'Ok, see you in a bit,' and then he hangs up and I say 'Bye' and the phone echos back 'Bye' and I think, 'Man, Joel sounds just like me!'
Arrum...I was looking after Jared again, and he was fussy so I was pulling things out of my purse for him to handle and wave around and bang against each other, and when Dan came through the door Jared was sitting the middle of a pile of pursephenalia - my hand lotion, my glittery lip gloss, my chunky blue bracelet, my compact mirror (not the one with the make-up in it). He's going to grow up a bit of a fem-bot.
Our landlords are going to pop a baby any minute now.
I kick ass at Scramble. Also, I totally suck at it and certain people (named Anna) are killing me.
Easter candy is half-off, except at Zellers where it's only 30% off. Effing Zellers.
I got my first box-o-books from Curled Up With A Good Book, who is going to pay me in books to read those books and review them. It's win-win. There's one called Freefall with a rather, shall we say, ripped gentleman in nothing but jeans and dog tags on the cover, and the whole cover is done up in reddish orange. Joel holds it up, saying 'This'll be a winner.' I'm sure it will.
I've been over-zealous with the inter-library loans, and I feel compelled to read things when the library has them brought in specially because I asked, and final papers are coming up due this week and next and final exams are the week after, so I don't know where I'm going to squeeze in all that reading.
I ate too much pizza.
H'okay, time to settle in. Papers to write and all that. If you want to challenge me to a game of Scramble, I promise I'll be online.