Hallowe-eats.

Ok, so I more or less range from vaguely tired to convinced that there is not enough sleep in the WORLD for how exhausted I am.  I take many naps.

I am still up to shenannigans, though, between said naps.  We had a quiet Halloween evening at home with some friends and a few rather violent games of Cranium Pop 5 (aside: I am the UNDISPUTED QUEEN of sculpturading.  You have no idea.  If it exists, I can make it recognizably from a lump of purple plastercine).  But this post will have nothing to do with my Cranial skillz, and everything to do with tasty treats.

So Robyn came over for a visit (more about which later.  I do have 30-odd days of posting ahead of me) and I capitalized on our previous success as bakerettes to talk her into helping me make caramel-apple-candies.  Which I invented.  It turns out that I know shit-all about candy-making.

There are those who think I can do no wrong in the kitchen.  To them I say, take a gander at this nasty crap!

They were not long for this world, the soupy, skeevy bastards.

At any rate, I sort of threw in the whole holiday-treat-themed towel because this epic fail depressed me so much, but then I came across a recipe for chocolate bones that didn't look like too much work, and DUDE!  THEY ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE LITTLE BONES!!

That is a nommable plate of bones, you might say.  Triumph!  And then I got all back in the groove and wrapped some apple slices in strips of puff pastry, and they actually sort of looked like little mummies before I cooked them:

But then they totally looked like little mummies after I cooked them:

And then they looked even more like mummies after I drizzled them with The Decay of the Ages (i.e. leftover caramel from the CandyFail):

And then I made some snot rolls:

And then I made a big bowl of Phlegm To Be Eaten With Chips, and there are no pictures because we ate it all IN SECONDS and I promise, if you ever throw a party and invite me I will make this dip for you and I promise to call it something more acceptable like Jalapeno Popper Dip, which will not take away from how much it really does look like a big bowl of phlegm, but which you will love anyways.