Sunday, January 08, 2012

Feeding another human is my superpower.

So, breastfeeding.  It's weird, right?  No, I'm doing it right now and I'm telling you that it's weird.  Your argument is invalid.

And after the obligatory difficulties and frustrations and minor meltdowns, El feeds alright.  She spits up like a bandit, which I guess is pretty par.  But every time she does, I am simultaneously like, Gross, that was inside me, and DUDE, I MADE THAT FOR YOU AND YOU ARE WASTING IT.

Also, all her best faces are feeding faces, and they are difficult to capture without also exposing you to Unnecessary Boob.  Like the Pirate Eye, above.  It's always the top eye, and she'll watch me suspiciously, as though she thinks I'm going to whip the boob away just as she's getting going.  Or the Feeding Frenzy:

This is her starving face.  This is the face that says, I HAVE OVER-NAPPED AND MUST DINE.  It is my favorite face.

Also hilarious are The Crocodile (it involves air-chomping) and The Wild Boar (like The Crocodile, but with snorts).


blackbird said...

I did it and agree. Totally weird.

Anna said...

I lolled. And I must meet this expressive little lady.

Anonymous said...

When I was in the hospital after the csection they brought in a lactation consultant to tell me how to Feed Two At Once and she said, "Baby's have upturned noses so they won't suffocate while they eat. It's not to be cute. It's like bulldogs."

Henceforth and forever, feeding a baby will remind me of a bulldog eating a small animal.

Jeane said...

Oh, you're so funny. Wait until she's old enough to give you the eye and burst into giggles while she's nursing. It hurts! but I can't help laughing too.

I always get secretly irritated when she doesn't want her cereals with breastmilk in it because not only is she wasting my precious milk but also i went to the trouble to pump it out for her and I hate pumping. O well.