Edmonton is terrible.

Where were we. Oh yes, Eleanor had just barfed all down herself and there we were, trying to wipe barf off of a sad toddler and a car seat and a diaper bag full of bathing suits, in -20 weather, by the side of the road.

We took her back to our hotel and I gave her a bath and then Joel hosed down the car seat in the shower and we propped it up over the heater so it would dry, and I fed Eleanor some cheerios and put her down and then Joel snuck out for Vietnamese food, which we ate sitting half in the closet.

The next morning we went to The Sugar Bowl for brunch, and since Eleanor had been grazing off our plates for a few days AND hadn't pooped in same, I got her a bowl of oatmeal, marking the first time we have paid for food for her in a restaurant. I made her order it herself, and, though she doesn't look it here, she was thrilled to have her own restaurant meal.

Then we went to the Muttart conservatory, which was...I mean, it was plants. And EXPENSIVE. So....berrrgh.

Eleanor finally pooped while we were at the conservatory, for which I thank the oatmeal, but I had taken the wipes out of the diaper bag at the hotel room to help wipe barf off of things. Seriously everything, stop going wrong.

We spent the afternoon at the mall, doing mall-stuff. We were all pretty bagged by this point, and Joel needed mittens, so we poked around looking for mittens and hiding in clothing racks

until Eleanor and I got bored and wandered off to that old staple, The Disney Store.

Needless to say, Joel did not find mittens. Earlier in the trip, he would have found mittens, but we were no longer in the Things Going Well stage.

Back at our hotel room, I bagged up the now-dry-but-still-barfyish bathing suits, Eleanor's outfit, and Snuggles, and tied the bag up tight to keep the smell in. THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER because then Joel dropped a glass and it broke everywhere and we had to call housekeeping to come clean our room.

We went back to our previous night's intended destination, the Louisiana Purchase, only to find that they were having a private party for Fat Tuesday and were closed to the public. Foiled again. So we returned to our place of brunch and I had chicken and waffles in lieu of pancakes.

Literally the only good thing to happen to us that day. Maple butter, you guys.

We got back to our room and remarked on how good it smelled now that the garbage can full of barfy wet wipes was empty and the bag full of barfy clothes was all tied up and OH SHIT because the bag was gone. Gone. My sinking heart. We called the front desk and they said to call housekeeping in the morning and I shed a few tears and we went to bed because sometimes you need to put an end to a day.

The next morning, Joel took Eleanor out and I phoned housekeeping, SURE that my bag of clothes had been thrown out by accident, only to find that yes, it probably had, and the garbage trucks had come that morning. Eleanor's plaid pants that go with everything, her long-sleeved blue shirt that does likewise, Snuggles the Second (thank goodness for Snuggles: Original Sauce. Always have a back-up), Eleanor's bathing suit with the fishies, Joel's best board shorts, and my extremely expensive tangerine bathing suit with the white polka dots that I justified spending all of my birthday money on when I was pregnant with Eleanor because I was probably going to be pregnant again, and would wear it and wear it and wear it and it was adorable. REMEMBER HOW ADORABLE IT WAS?

And I bought it from a boutique in Victoria in 2011, so I am never going to be able to replace it. There are so many more horrible things that could have happened, and I keep reminding myself that it was just THINGS we lost, but every so often I have a pang of sadness for that bathing suit.

The hotel manager is going to reimburse me for the cost of a new suit, as well as comp our trip to cover the other items. If Eleanor hadn't barfed, if I hadn't tied the bag so tightly and left it in the corner, if Joel hadn't broken the glass, if the garbage trucks hadn't come that morning.

We gave the Louisiana Purchase one last try on our way out of town, and I had the Satisfaction Platter and it was all the jambalaya and in-house sausage and cajun shrimp and creole sauce that I wanted it to be, thank goodness, because I don't think I could have handled another disappointment.

Eleanor was hilarious on the drive home, as always.