We are hanging in there SO HARD.

I texted Josie a while back, looking for reassurance that I'd get over this slightly-panicked feeling I have whenever I'm out on my own with the girls. She said it'd be when we had our first public meltdown (whether Geneva's, Eleanor's, or mine) and survived it.

Today we stopped at Superstore on the way home from a play place, and Geneva had been asleep for a few hours but I thought I had time. But the shopping cart hit a jolt and woke her up and the HOLLERING, I tell you. I'd forgotten a soother, so I stuck my finger in her mouth to suck on and steered the cart with my other hand and my ribs. When I needed both hands to get something, Eleanor was happy to oblige.

But past a certain point even the finger didn't cut it, and we accidentally got in line behind a woman who only bought things that were on sale, and disputed the cost of every second item. The hardest part for me was how distressed Eleanor got. She was near tears because Geneva was sad and we couldn't fix it. I had to keep reassuring her that sometimes babies just cry.

Geneva's at that hideous age where they can't smile at you yet but BOY can they scream. It makes her hard to like. But Eleanor loves her so much, and that makes it a thousand times easier. We survived our first public meltdown, and we've survived our first five weeks.