To run or not to run

I have been running for about six years now, off and on, and I know that there are people who run because they love it and it's exhilarating and challenging and gives them energy for the day, etc. etc., but I am not one of those people and I also suspect those people of lying. I love certain things about running, like being all sweaty afterwards and then showering and then feeling like the cleanest person in the world, and giving myself permission to eat everything all day, and also, what a great excuse to buy cute jogging shorts!! But mostly I run because not to run + to eat gummy worms for lunch = to get fat.

So I go for a run yesterday, and I'm maybe a kilometer in and my iPod's batteries die and I'm left all alone with MY THOUGHTS. And then about a block later I develop these crippling cramps in my one side, and sometimes I can run them out, or I can walk for a bit and they dissipate, or I can start breathing like I am my own Iron Lung, but I try all those things and nothing is working, and by this time I'm halfway through my run and it's just as far to go on as to go back, so I go on, but now I'm walking. I'm not sure how many of you have noticed this, but walking takes some time longer than does running. So I'm not breaking a sweat, I'm not burning off my french toast, I'm not listening to music, and the way in which I am not doing all these things is incredibly time consuming. I'm feeling wasteful and slightly screwed over.

If running wants to get back on my good side, it needs to bring me a cake or something.