weight-watchers

a handful of my friends are getting married this summer, and some of them are trying to lose a few pounds first. i had planned on keeping all of my pounds, but to them i give this advice: become terribly ill and unable to eat like an adult for a couple of weeks. your hair will be dull, your skin waxy, and you will look like nothing so much as a crayon drawing of yourself, but the pounds will flow from you like runny-poops.