Our can-opener doesn't work. Or, it works, but badly and only at a certain angle and most often not even then. I no longer enjoy opening cans (unless they are of whoop-ass, obviously) and avoid any meal with beans. I miss you, beans.
Our microwave also does not work. More specifically, the START button only works if you do a very specific dance and offer up a sacrifice, and since I am fresh out of virgins or unicorns I had to melt butter for brownies in a pan the other day like a chump.
I have gone on at length about how our car cannot be unlocked from the driver's side, but now it also smokes from the console sometimes. Sporadic testing has not been able to determine whether this is related to using the heater.
All the padding came out of one of the handles of my errands-running-bag, and now that handle slices my shoulder-top.
But my body is humming away like gangbusters, so I think I'm good.